Daddy.

I had a dream about my dad last night. He wanted to send me away for two months to 'fix' me because I supposedly had so many things wrong with me. Mum was going to let him, can't forget that part. In my dream there was a room of young girls in white dresses danceing around in circles. I was the only one not danceing I merely stood in the corner and watched. Eventually I broke down, I started screaming and crying asking Dad why he was doing this to me. In my dream I told him everything. I asked him why no matter how hard I tried I would never be good for him. He let me stay but it was conditional... as always.

Dreams are amazing, at times so accurate amd so very symbolic. Dad and I will never be right. He has perpetually destroyed a part of me I never ever got the chance to meet. In a way though, like mum says, its lucky I never really bonded with him or I would have never had a chance.

I see Khadija with me.

I know you're smart but you're not superior. You're missing something every human being should have, infact needs to function properley. It's scary. You assume so much about me because you don't know me. There's a wall between us. As much as i'd love to knock it down it needs to stay there, for my own safety. You'd drown me.